When my smartphone was stolen, Instagram (and 2FA) was the worst part — or, why you won’t see pics of my dog’s costume this Halloween

UPDATE: DEC. 19, 2022 — @RustyDogFriendly is back online. Basically, I just kept trying. It seems from the outside as if Meta/Facebook have hired more people to handle these requests and that’s why this account finally got the human attention it needed to be fixed.  But I don’t know, perhaps I got some special attention.

OCT. 25, 2022 — Why am I holding this odd-looking sign in what looks a lot like a mug shot? Because my cell phone was stolen recently.  And the worst part of that experience has been dealing with …. Instagram.  As I’ve written before, poor customer service is actually a massive security vulnerability, and I think my story will illustrate that.  But if you don’t care for those details, at least scroll down to watch me and my dog struggle to submit a selfie video so I could attempt to regain access to @RustyDogFriendly. It’s worth the price of admission. (And, sadly, it did not work. Many, many times)

Many years ago I was scared straight on two-factor authentication when I was working on a documentary podcast about Russian hackers and I received notification from Facebook that someone in St. Petersburg, Russia, had tried to hack into my Instagram account.  I was already pretty careful with my work and banking accounts, but now I put two-factor on everything I could.

And I didn’t opt for the less-secure SMS text-message-code style two-factor. I went with the stronger token-based model.  I installed Google Authenticator on my phone and used its mathematically-generated codes as my second step when logging into all my various accounts. Even my @bobsulli Instagram, used mainly for my photography hobby, and @rustydogfriendly, where fans of my beloved golden retriever could get their fix of Rusty. (Long-time readers know Rusty has enjoyed his own time in the media spotlight from a story I wrote for the Today show).

That worked well until my cellphone was stolen while traveling last week.  Everyone understands the hassle that usually brings. I was actually fortunate. I have insurance, so after a $230 deductible, I received a replacement phone and all my data is backed up, so I didn’t really lose anything.

Except my sanity as I tried to log back into sites where I had employed Google Authenticator.  You see, there is no way to restore that. When your phone gets stolen, your token math is gone. There’s no way to import the old math into the new phone with out access to the old phone; at least none I am aware of. So every site which required an Authenticator code now required an alternative sign-in process.  The good news is: None of them were particularly easy. I wouldn’t want that! After all, what good is two-factor authentication if someone can just say, “I forgot my password” and sign in with a new one.

So I went through various alternative means of logging in…many involved using other gadgets or laptops where  I was already logged into these accounts and answering various questions.  Most sites that use tokens offer the chance to download a series of one-time backup codes designed for such an emergency, which I had done in most cases. Of course, many of the codes date back to those frantic moments five years ago when I was preparing for a possible Russian hack, so they weren’t necessarily easy to find.  But, I muddled through.

Until I got to Instagram.

I’ve written a lot recently about the problems Instagram is having with hackers. Well — in my view — the real problem is Instagram’s customer service failures. It’s easy to find horror stories about Instagram users who’ve had their accounts hijacked — then, those impersonator accounts are used for ongoing crimes, like crypto scams — and the victims are unable to even get the accounts turned off, let alone restored to the rightful owner.

So I shouldn’t have been surprised when attempts to log into my Instagram accounts with a brand new phone — and without my Authenticator — ran into roadblocks worthy of Fort Knox.  Let me be clear: I am glad Instagram makes it hard to log into my accounts from a strange new cell phone. Kudos to them for making this challenging.  But…when challenging becomes impossible, something else becomes clear. Their security implementation is a failure. And as a result, I can no longer recommend that Instagram users employ strong two-factor authentication, because you may very well be signing your account’s death warrant that way.

My @BobSulli account is much older, and I occasionally use it for professional purposes — I was among the first Instagram users, relatively speaking — so I dived into that problem first. I asked for a password reset at the email address on file. That worked. I tried to log in. I couldn’t without an Authenticator code.  I asked for an alternative.  I entered the backup codes I had. That didn’t work. I felt desperate.

I should note that every one of these interactions with Instagram came with a subject line “Hi BobSulli — we’ve made it easy to get back on Instagram.”

So I asked the software one more time — isn’t there any alternative?

I was then asked if pictures of myself were in the account. Of course!  So then I was told to make a “selfie video.”  Great!  Someone — or  something — was going to look at this video, compare it to the 500 other pictures of me, and override whatever system was blocking me from the account. Perhaps (hopefully?) after a phone call or some other final check of who I was.  Following the instructions, I looked right, looked up, looked left….and then submitted it.  I was told it might take three or four days. Bummer, but worth it to have this piece of the puzzle solved!

Within minutes, I had my answer.

“We weren’t able to confirm your identity from the video you submitted. You can submit a new video and we’ll review it again,” a sad email said.

That was fast, I thought. It’s probably a machine.  So I set about running around my home trying to find the same lighting as my profile photo. Even the same suit jacket I wore.  I submitted several selfie videos over the next few hours.  All of them were rejected.

The only other alternative I was offered was ….no alternative.  Just a link to a help center page that, predictably, offered no help at all.  I was at a dead end.

But then I had one more thought.  I had an old iPod touch. Perhaps I had logged into my account from that device and Instagram would recognize it through device fingerprinting or something similar and I’d at least get a different alternative.  Bang!  This time, when I entered my password, failed the Authenticator test, and begged for help, I was presented with a form to fill out. I did so, and received a hopeful — if odd — response in email.

“Thanks for contacting us. Before we can help, we need you to confirm that you own this account. Please reply to this message and attach a photo of yourself holding a hand-written copy of the code below…. 6XXXX…Please make sure that the photo you send includes the above code hand-written on a clean sheet of paper, followed by your full name and username …Clearly shows both the code and your face.”

So, that’s where the mugshot photo above comes in. I sent it in.  To shorten the story a bit, that worked.  Withing a few hours, I had access to @BobSulli!  That was the hard part, I thought.  There was just one more thing to do to recover from the awful experience of having my smartphone stolen — recover my dog’s account, @rustydogfriendly.

And that, dear readers, has proven to be my Waterloo.

Because when the time came to submit a selfie video for his account…that didn’t go quite as well, as you can see in the embedded YouTube video below.

I know what you’re thinking: I’ve already tried a selfie video of just me. That didn’t work either. I’ve tried about 10 different variations. Each time, the video is rejected. I actually had a reasonable dialog with the folks who helped me log into @BobSulli over email. I pleaded with them to look at @rustydogfriendly. The accounts are linked in both their bios!  It’s obvious we are connected! I sent a list of pictures with both me and him together! The person(s) on the other end of the keyboard kept telling me they could only help with my @BobSulli account. I begged for an alternative. The “line” went dead.

So I am stuck in a perpetual loop, as the geeks say. I log in, I’m asked for an Authenticator code, I say I don’t have it, I’m asked for a backup code, I try it, it fails, I ask for an alternative, I’m asked to make a selfie video, it fails, and then my only option is to make another selfie video.

The backup codes I have for @rustydogfriendly were downloaded the day I opened the account. Why don’t they work? I don’t know. Perhaps they have expired.  I don’t recall ever using them, but who knows. It was four years ago.

So I am stuck. Rusty is usually a big hit on Halloween, but I’ve now written that holiday off.  Perhaps there is some other route to logging in that I’ve missed, and for that I’m sorry, but I believe I’ve taken every step a reasonable consumer would take in my situation — and a few that only a cybersecurity journalist would take — and I have nothing but a zombie account to show for it.  And a belabored blog post that many of you probably have not finished reading.

But I belabor the point because it’s important: when security isn’t accompanied by customer service, it’s a failure. Poor customer service is, I believe, our greatest security vulnerability. Two-factor authentication is ESSENTIAL.  Many people use text-message-based authentication, and I’ve been telling anyone who will listen that it’s now failed. It’s too easy for criminals to intercept those texts or obtain them in other ways.  So I’ve been urgings banks and other institutions to force consumers into Authenticator or other software-based tokens instead. They are much safer.

But I can no longer do this in good conscience. Because if there is no plan for consumers who lose access to their phones, there is no plan.  I can’t tell you how much of the weekend I spent explaining to various websites — “No, I can’t verify myself via text because….I don’t have texts right now.” And when there is no alternative, the implementation is broken.

Thanks to Instgram, I will forever be gun-shy about two-factor authentication now. And the more stories like this that you hear, the more you will be inclined to turn it off, too.  After all, which risk is higher — a criminal hacking your account or a corporation blocking your access to the account?

Note that I *was* able to restore my other accounts, so clearly the problem is fixable. I will continue to use two-factor everywhere I can. And you should too.  But know this: If Facebook were required to answer the phone — virtually or otherwise — these situations would not arise. Poor customer service gives security a bad name, and that puts us all at risk.

Meanwhile, if anyone has any suggestions for getting back into my dog’s account, I’m all ears. Some very cute Halloween pictures are in it for you.