HOBOKEN, N.J. — They say you can die from a broken heart — I’m sure that’s true — and you can really feel that in a place like Hoboken, N.J. on Sept. 11. A quick ferry or train ride from Wall Street, Hoboken is believed to have lost the most victims from a single zip code on that terrible day. A memorial on the Hudson River for 57 Hoboken residents who died stands as testimony to this town’s suffering. Standing before it, especially on 9/11, gives you a crushing sense of loss, but it’s important to remember… the price is still being paid by so many families, so many broken hearts. Victims are still dealing with 9/11 lungs, unusual cancers, and suicide. As you’ll see, yes, you can die of a broken heart.
Today, as on so many Sept. 11s, the sky is blue, the wind is breezy, the air smells fall-sweet. It’s perfect, as it was on that morning in 2001. It always seems to be this way. It always feels somehow right but somehow wrong.
It’s a tricky business, remembering the past but moving ahead with life. I never know what to do on 9/11. I think you have to cry. But I think you can be grateful, too, for life. You can smile. You can laugh. But yes, you have to cry. You have to remember.
The crying part is easy. I no longer try to listen to the entire list of names that are read at Ground Zero every Sept. 11. But listen to just a few moments of that incredible service and that knot inside — the one that’s never really going away — surges up through your chest and your lungs and your eyes again.
I’m not sure what the *right* amount of focusing on the sadness of this day is — 5 minutes? An hour? All 24 hours? We all have to make our own choices. But every year, I feel compelled to read about 9/11 victims, to learn about their lives, a journalism assignment I give myself with no real purpose other than …duty. Another testament to the overwhelming scale of the 9/11 tragedy is that I have never come close to running out of new stories to read, and I never will.
So it was that I came across this story in the archives of Hudson Reporter, thanks to local journalist Caren Lissner. An important tale of struggles post WTC attack, the report makes the crucial point that “They didn’t all die on 9/11.”
You should read that full story, but here’s the tale that caught my eye this year: Edward Kearns kissed his wife, Donna Bernaerts-Kearns, goodbye that terrible morning in 2001 and she went off to her job on the 94th Floor of the north tower. It was four months before he accepted that Donna had really died that day, as he set about to raise their 11-year-old child alone. He did. And then sometime right around the 10th anniversary of 9/11, after his son had moved out on his own, Kearns died alone in his Hoboken apartment at age 50. Friends say he never got over losing his wife.
Just one story.
If you haven’t yet, I’d invite you to click around and find your own story today. You’ll find so much heartache, but you’ll also find incredible honor, and love and hope, too. Like this story about other 9-11 widows, (also from Caren) and how they have moved on (some with blended families!). But don’t forget. Never forget.
Scenes from today’s Hoboken 9-11 memorial, which includes the reading of the Hoboken names.
Be the first to comment